I have been wanting to write this post for a long time, but something has always stopped me. I guess it's because I am a big believer in people just doing what makes them happy. If wearing too small or big of clothes makes someone feel beautiful, confident and happy, who am I to tell them not to?
However, I feel like some of us wear the wrong size clothes for the wrong reasons. Mainly, because we haven't come to terms with what size we are, be it big or small.
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| For example this skirt was way too small, lol. It looks okay, and a dude might not notice, but seriously girl? Don't try and sit down! |
I remember, when I was still working at a local montessori school, one of my coworkers said something behind my back. We all gossiped, so I don't think I was innocent, but I remember how much it hurt my feelings.
The girl said, "Ugh, why does Tiffany always wear clothes that are too small? She's fat."
Well, I'm afraid she was probably halfway right. I gained a lot of weight when I worked there, due to poor eating choices and not getting enough exercise...and let's not forget massive amounts of stress. Most of my clothes were a little (or a lot) snug, but I didn't want to admit I needed a bigger size.
Not realizing I needed a bigger size became kind of a theme for my 20's...Now that I'm in my 30's I have fought hard to keep my weight down, but still I have to come to terms with the fact I am not really "thin."
The best way to wear clothes your size is to take your measurements. And when you take your measurements, the tape should not be suffocating you in any way. It should be snug, but not too tight. If it looks like your waist is being strangled, the tape is too tight. Also, measure your hips at where your butt is the biggest, trust me. There are probably tons of tutorials on how to take your measurements, but I learned you take them where your bust is the biggest, your natural waist (smallest part of waist, sometimes by belly button depending on your body type) and the biggest part of your hips/butt. You have to be honest with yourself when doing this, and it can be brutal.
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| This dress is a 2X. It was a little big but not much, lol. All that matters is it fits, no one has to know your size unless you want them to. |
I won't lie to ya...the last time I took my measurements I cried, because I can remember when I was a perfect hourglass (I was like 17, so it's time to get over it, lol). I took my measurements because I was ordering some clothes from the Victoria's Secret catalog and I needed to know what size I wore in their stuff.
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| Sure, I had a great figure when I was 17, but I need to live in the here and now, lol. (This is me and Kira, my BFF) |
Like many people do when they realize they are a bit bigger, I felt sad because I'm not the size I used to be. But when my clothes came everyone said how cute I looked, and I felt really cute. The fact that they fit well made me look pretty thin, or at least well porportioned (which I am, big or not). I began to realize it doesn't matter what size I wear, what matters is my clothes fit. My legs don't look like sausage casings in my jeans. I don't have a massive muffin top. I don't have four boobs hanging out all the sides of my bra. My arms can bend and lift without worry of a split jacket or lining. I can bend over and pick something up without being squeezed to death. I am comfortable all the time, which makes me feel confident and encourages me to keep exercising. I don't need to run home and throw sweat pants on (even though sometimes I still do) because my everyday clothes are comfy not torture. When I go out to the bar or an event I can really enjoy myself because I am not in pain (except for the high heels, heehee).
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| Here I am getting caught shamelessly taking a "selfie," lol. I was so comfortable in my clothes while at the Plaza Art Fair I was able to just sit on the curb and take a rest after 6 hours of walking, lol. I was NOT wearing heels here! |
This isn't something just big girls deal with either. Lots of thin girls, or girls who have lost weight, wear clothes that are miles too big. You can't even see they have wonderful figures because they are so hidden.
For whatever reason they can't come to terms with the fact they are small. Again, I would encourage anyone to take their measurements and look at a size chart for a brand of clothing they enjoy wearing. You might be surprised how confident and comfortable you feel wearing clothes in your correct size.
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| These jeans are a size 16, Silver brand. My first size 16... I was so embarassed to buy them, but lord knows why. They fit and look great! |
Since we are on this subject already, I want to address the issue of buying too small because you are losing weight. Just don't do it, in my opinion. I have an adorable pair of jeans I got at Viva Fashion that are size 11/12. They fit but my legs are sausages and I have a huge muffin top, so basically they DON'T fit. I bought them because I was losing weight, but I still can't fit them. All they do is make me feel bad. When I feel bad I want a donut. When I eat a donut I feel worse and it doesn't get the jeans any closer to fitting. It's just a bad pattern. If you are losing some lbs. just wait until the jeans and clothing you have are too big and THEN buy smaller ones. That is my two cents! :)
When I shop at regular stores I always need to shop the Misses section. I no longer fit into "junior" clothes. Hey, I don't want to look like an old lady, so I am super choosy. Just because you are thick doesn't mean you need to dress like a grandma. Too many places only offer bigger bras and clothes that are sloppy looking and unflattering. Trust me, if you are thick you don't need to wear baggy anything, you need to show that you have a waist.
I love to shop from catalogs like Simply Be and Victoria's Secret.
http://www.simplybe.com/
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| Simply Be even has cute vintagy stuff! |
http://www.victoriassecret.com/
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| I am XL if I'm lucky in Victoria's Secret. I'm not sure if they have any plus size. |
We also got a Torrid shop at my local mall, and I have been loving it!
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| Don't get me started on why all we have is an outdoor mall... I miss Metro North and Antioch! |
So far at Torrid I have gotten two pairs of jeans, a jacket, two sweaters and a form fitting tunic shirt (not all at the same time). I have tried on their bras, and I can't wait to buy some when I get more extra money. Right now I only have Victoria's Secret bras, and they are pricey, so I don't mind having an alternative!
Torrid isn't cheap, but the clothing is well made. Best of all, it's made for young, trendy women. I am big boned, so I have big wrists, ankles and fingers. It's not from weight, I had big everything when I was stick thin, lol. And there are bigger women who have tiny wrists and fingers! Anyways, when I go places like Forever 21 and Charlotte Ruse, none of their cool knuckle rings or bangle braclets fit me. Well at Torrid they do!
I like the one at Zona very much, the layout is nice with lots of natural light. I shopped at the one in Independence Center a few years ago and just did not like it at all. But that's just me, you might like it fine.
Also, you can shop online if you don't have time to make it to the store.
http://www.torrid.com/torrid/Homepage.jsp
Just to give you a perspective of how big I am, I wear a size 14 in jeans at Torrid, and a size 0 or 1 in shirts. My bra size is 38DD. In regular stores I wear a Large or XL in shirts usually. My jean size is 14 or 16 anywhere I go.
I also really have good luck finding jeans at Ditto (a resale boutique on Barry Road). It's very hit or miss, but when it hits it hits good, lol. Shirts on the other hand, you can't find any in that place, they need some organizing!
**side-note**I have noticed that shopping with makeup on makes it so much easier to come home with stuff that looks good on me. The reason for this is, when I try on something wearing no makeup I have a tendency to think, "Hey, this will look great when I have makeup on!" Yeah, that's not always the case. I'm not walking around with a cake face or anything, but having on some tinted moisturizer, blush, nude lipstick, and mascara really makes me look better. It gives me a better idea of what I want to look like in clothes. I am still adjusting to the extra time it takes in the morning to put makeup on, and at night to take it off, but it's so worth it. I am definitely glad I started wearing a little makeup every single day :) **
I am really on a mission to have all my clothing make me feel happy. Every day I go to my closet I want to pull something out that makes me feel good. I know it's not going to happen overnight. The first thing I am trying to do is not feel guilty that things I spent money on need to go. Also, shirts I really loved a year ago and still look brand new, I'm sick of.
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| My new fall jacket from Torrid. I lurve it! |
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| Sorry the pic is a little boobalicious... I will be wearing this with a cami, lol. But I love wearing charcoal, and this sweater is so pretty in person. |
I am going to pack some stuff of my old clothes away, sell some stuff, and donate what's left.
Anyways, I hope this post was helpful. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, which is why I have avoided talking about size in most my previous blog posts. The fact is, if you are not wearing your correct size everyone around you knows. You can't ask your best friend (unless your best friend is Kira, because she will be honest) and you can't ask your husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, because they won't want to hurt your feelings. They will lie to you. They should lie to you because if they don't you will punish them. You just have to really look at yourself, and your measurements, and figure out if your clothes are the correct size.
Whatever makes you happy, go for it! Some of my favorite books, The Stephanie Plum series (still haven't seen the movie) have a character named Lula. She is sassy and wears spandex pants two sizes too small. She eats a lot. Her character is very confident in who she is and her too tight clothes are a part of that. If you are a Lula, by all means be who you are! This post is for those of us who are, or were, wearing the wrong size due to denial, lol.
xoxo,
Tiff
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| Gabe and I at the pumpkin patch where I was once again...super comfortable, heehee. These jeans are size 14 from Torrid. The shirt is size XL from Viva Fashion. |
P.S. I watched all the seasons of The Walking Dead and am now fully caught up! So here is Gabriel as a zombie a few years ago :)
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| We love Halloween! |
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