Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Journal Prompt--What did you want your life to be like?

Hi all,

I've been going through some of my Bloglovin' emails. Ever since my surgery last summer I've been trying to live my life less online and more in the "real world." However, every once in a while I still enjoy reading blogs and catching up with some of my favorite bloggers. Sometimes Sweet has been doing journal prompts, and I think it's a really cool idea. I'd like to do this one, so feel free to join along and send me a link to your post!

Here's the prompt she gave:

 "Think about the plans you had for your adult self when you were younger- would you say they match up to your reality today? What did you wish for your future when you were a child? Did you have a plan? And would you say you've followed that plan in any way? This week, look at the life you hoped to have (even if you consider your childhood "dreams" silly now) and see how your current life compares."

When I was in my teens I really wanted to grow up and own/run a flower shop with my best friends Kira and Laura. I hoped we could all be close, like the ladies on Sex and the City. This wasn't a very realistic goal, because Kira and Laura didn't even like each other! However, boys hadn't really come into the scene yet so we all made nice and had tons of fun together. This was my freshman year of high school, and I was terrible at school.

Kira, Me and Laura

As the years went by Laura and I had different friend circles but Kira and I stayed close. We did a lot of partying, so I really just wanted to party and didn't have many life goals. I guess I just wanted to be pretty and have fun. In fact, I can remember having conversations with Kira that we might as well die when we turn thirty because we would be so old and ugly (all the LOLs).

As a child, I just wanted to grow up and be like Cindy Crawford or Madonna in her Blonde Ambition phase. However, all the kids told me how hideous and fat I was (I had all the bullies) so I pretty much knew that wasn't going to happen.

I never was the kind of girl who dreamed of her wedding. I didn't care about getting married. I didn't really think about having a family, or a house. I guess I wasn't a long term thinker at all, really. I figured you had fun until you died.

So my current life:

I am married. I got married when I was 19 and I'm now 32. I have a 13 year old son. I work at a college. I'm not hideous but I'm certainly not a hot 17 year old anymore. I worry about the future. I still would like to be as beautiful as Cindy Crawford or Madonna. I would still like to own a flower shop with Kira and Laura. Kira and Laura still don't like each other. I don't get to spend much time with my friends, and when I think of the future I envisioned for all of us, it seems like a Lifetime movie. It still sounds like fun, but I know too much about the real world to think it would ever really happen.

I like my life, and I actually really enjoy being married. Sometimes I think the reason I enjoy it is because I didn't sit around when I was a kid thinking of how great and perfect it would be. My husband and I really love each other, but no marriage is perfect. I also never sat around as a kid yearning to be a mom, but I've really loved being a mom. I only had one child, and now that he's a teen I do get quite lonely. I sat around my twenties being a good mom, so now that I'm in my thirties I have a bit more freedom, and it's been pretty fun.

My family

I think the life I hoped for was pretty cute. I wanted a flower shop, and to always be with my friends. I wanted to be pretty and have fun. I didn't worry about stuff. I guess the real world has a way with changing any plans we have for ourselves.

I'm very proud to be a college graduate with a  Bachelor's in Journalism. I love my job working at a college and I'm actually hoping to get a different position soon.

I guess the one thing I miss about the person I was supposed to be is not worrying as much. I need to take a lesson from my old self and stop stressing out. Because according to her, I should already be dead by now. (hahahah).


Having a fun summer!

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